Tearing Me Apart
by Quibily
Summary: Anakin/Padmé fanfic. Post-AOTC Padmé is undertaking a large amount of stress, she thinks that she and Anakin's marriage is to blame. Anakin must teach her to have more faith in their love. It's not entirely angst, some humor and cute lovey parts.
1. The Ride Home

" Ever since I met you, all those years ago, a day hasn't gone by when I haven't thought of you. And now that I'm with you again, I'm in agony. The closer I get to you, the worse it gets. I can't breath! I'm haunted by the kiss you never should have given me. My heart is beating, hoping that kiss will not become a scar. What can I do? I will do anything you ask." Not a bit of falseness flickered in the Jedi Apprentice's eyes.  
  
The woman he needed so much lost her breath, overwhelmed by his words. She knew what she had to do, she slowly said....  
  
"M'Lady? M'Lady? Are you alright?" Captain Typho's voice interrupted Padmé's memories. She blinked.  
  
" I'm fine. Are we about there?"  
  
" Just a few more minutes, Senator."  
  
"Thank you, Captain." The man slightly nodded his head in a respectable manner. He then marched out of the room, leaving the young senator and Dormé alone.  
  
Padmé cast her gaze across the room. She met eyes with her faithful handmaiden sitting across the room from her. Ah, Dormé, such a great friend. She felt a stab of guilt as soon as she saw Anakin walk in. She wished she could tell Dormé of her feelings for the tall Jedi Padawan learner, but that would destroy everything.  
  
She looked him over and then at his mechanical hand sympathetically. He gave her a reassuring smile when he caught her looking.  
  
" It's not at all as bad as it looks." He rasped. She curtly nodded.  
  
" It couldn't be as bad as your back." He commented. He strode to her direction and then sat beside her. He then sneakily slipped his good hand on her light clothe covered-back, slowly and softly caressing her back in short strokes so Dormé couldn't see. " Are you positive it doesn't hurt anymore." Then he added. ",M'Lady?"  
  
Surprise and pleasure surged through her body at the touch of his fingertips. She wanted to kiss him so badly it was hardly bearable. " I'm alright. It's healed now." She said to Dormé when her handmaiden's expression turned concerned also. Then she turned to Anakin. His dark blue eyes and loving stare almost made her melt. "Honestly." She assured him, too. Not showing any sign of her feelings.  
  
" We should be arriving in Naboo soon, M'Lady. Then you will be safe." He commented after a moment of silence. He turned to find Dormé eyeing his human hand suspiciously. Swiftly, Anakin hopped up and headed to the door. He paused when he heard a silent call of his name.  
  
" Anakin..?" He spun around and nodded his head. She searched his face for the words, her eyes frantically turning every which way. She soon gave up and sighed. " Thank you." Padmé eventually finished.  
  
He merely smiled, a mischievous and satisfied smile that almost scared Padmé and at the same time made her rejoice. Anakin was soon out of the automatic door. Her eyes remained glued to the door until it opened again.  
  
" We are here, M'Lady." The captain announced.  
  
" Very good, captain." It was back to being professional. 


	2. The Proposal

Padmé left Dormé in her room. Padmé knew she needed time to think. She scolded herself for letting Anakin leave without talking with him. She picked up pace while walking on the balcony, where they had shared their first kiss. What is the matter with me? Why did I just let him leave?  
  
She picked up her skirts and stepped down the stairs. The wind sweeped her dress up and Padmé looked away from the direction the wind came from, and as quickly as it had come, the gust was gone, the stillness of the day reclaimed the warm day. She heard someone laugh. It was a man with a boyish laugh, and very lively. She turned.  
  
His dark eyes met hers once again. She shivered when she discovered the devotion and awe painted in his eyes. Her stomach flipped when he finally retreated the smile.  
  
" Ani? What are you doing here? I thought you had left." Padmé gaped.  
  
He nodded. " I did."  
  
Impatience invaded her when he did not answer. He only stood there. Feet spread apart and arms held behind his back, he stood, with an unreadable face.  
  
" I missed you." She blurted. What an idiotic thing to say! She told herself incredulously. He has only been gone for a meager five minutes! But she meant it, strangely. She wanted to be honest with him for a change. He didn't laugh at her remark. His eyes softened further.  
  
" You could never imagine how much I've missed you." He took one step up the stairs. "I knew you and I were destined, and I waited ten years to see my premonition come true." He advanced more up the stairs until he was a step underneath her and taller than she.  
  
Face straight, she looked into his eyes as he spoke. She saw truth in what he was saying, just by looking into his eyes. She started shivering again when she felt his warm breath on her forehead.  
  
Her heart leapt when Anakin leaned down to claim her lips. She welcomed his kiss. It was warm and passionate, as they always were, though, this time it seemed more desperate. A kiss of devotion. But Padmé dismissed this thought.  
  
When their lips parted she smiled at him. Her first real smile ever since that day in the field, the last time Anakin and Padmé were alone together before the Clone Wars began. She smacked her lips together in an indescribable loving expression, pushing her self to say a few simple words. She would have to give Dormé the rest of the day off.  
  
" Will you marry me?" Padmé whispered. 


	3. The Wedding

Anakin could not have asked for anything as wonderful as what two droids were witnessing. Padmé and Anakin's wedding. He wished that his Mother could have been there, she would have loved Padmé. And maybe even Obi-wan, Anakin dared, but it was impossible, Obi-wan was too obedient to the Jedi Council and would object to it.  
  
When they kissed, Anakin felt a surge of electricity through his body. This was real. He could feel it. This defied the Jedi Code. And perhaps even would abolish it.  
  
When it was final, he took her hand in his mechanical hand, Padmé did not repel his action whatsoever, infact she pursued it further. They turned and gazed out at the endless lush green plain lands and the cool blue bodies of water. Just content in each other's warmth, they looked out.  
  
" I think we'd better leave these two alone, R2." C3PO recommended. R2D2 beeped something that only 3PO could understand. It sounded like a whine. " No, we can't just watch! "  
  
Padmé broke their joined "hands". Anakin was still dazed as Padmé grinned at the little droid. Anakin grew disappointed when he realized they were still in the lodge and hadn't floated towards the heavens like he had felt.  
  
He watched R2D2 and the droid he had made as a boy make their way inside the Naboo lake retreat building. He turned back to his lovely bride, who was still smiling. How beautiful she looks! Anakin beamed in his thoughts.  
  
Her white vale softly bounced as the wind blew, revealing her pulled back amber hair and some purposely-loose curls. The pearls on the vale reflected the sun's glare, creating them to sparkle like diamonds. Her dress flowed down the curves of her body and spilled over the floor. Only a lady could handle a dress like that.  
  
After a series of moments, a wicked grin played at young Skywalker's lips when he had an idea. Anakin scooped his newly wed off the ground until the bottom of her gown was inches from the ground. He held her like how one would cradle a baby. She let out a joyous shriek of surprise. " Ani! What are yo-" She snatched the air with her delicate hands, so as to prevent from falling. Her hands soon grasped his shoulder and she faced his victorious expression. She shot him a puzzled look.  
  
" Tradition." He stated simply. " The groom carries the bride out."  
  
" Out to where?" She questioned him. He smirked, then pondered that himself.  
  
" Uh-m" He breathed through his teeth. Silence overcame them until Padmé broke it.  
  
" Anakin," Padmé's tone grew serious. " Obi-wan will be expecting you on Coruscant soon." Her voice cracked at "soon".  
  
Anakin blinked, wishing she hadn't brought the subject up. Another long silence followed.  
  
" I'll go tomorrow." He explained.  
  
She didn't speak, didn't scold him for avoiding the subject. She, too, wished she didn't have to bring it up. Her eyes tightly shut as she felt his breath on her face. Her frown kept claim of her face. Her emotions remained bleak. Anakin grunted angrily. He hated to see her sad . " Let's go out to the meadow, Padmé, tell me more about your childhood here." He chirped. He loved to hear her voice grow dreamy when she spoke about her home and her life before she became a politician. Her childhood was much more pleasant than his own.  
  
A bittersweet smile formed on Padmé's beautiful face. " Alright." She opened her eyes. His eyes became soft as he gazed upon Padmé. She began to tug at Anakin's tunic. " Once you let me down." She began to excuse herself off of his lap when he gently grabbed her chin and gave her a look that made her go right back into his strong arms. No words could describe his look. Just, convincing.  
  
Her eyes were blurry with unshed tears while she smiled. The terrible thoughts of truth were in the back of her head warning her of hurt that may come. She blocked it out and concentrated on now, and smiled further at her future.  
  
Anakin laughed. He knew it was possible to carry your life in your hands, because he was. " Oh, no you don't." He started strolling down the stairs and entered the gleam of the sunlight and breathed in the sweet smell of a beautiful day on Naboo. "Tradition." He repeated, plainly as before. 


	4. Padmé Left Behind

Padmé slowly opened her eyes. She inhaled the moist morning air. Then she felt a pang of disappointment when she remembered what Anakin said when they had bid each other goodnight the previous day.  
  
" I have to leave for Coruscent before Obi-wan comes here to find me. I'll leave tomorrow at dawn." He struggled to get these last words out. "Maybe we shouldn't say good-bye tomorrow. After all, we'll see each other soon." He then exited to his room after a soft kiss.  
  
Yes, they would see each other soon. Though that didn't reside her worry for her husband. Her husband. Her Ani. He was back doing his duty as a Jedi. And she would soon carry on with her duty as senator.  
  
She squeezed the bottom corners of her pillow between her thumbs and index fingers, fiercely. She then sprawled out on the bed and gazed at the ceiling. She missed her room in her apartment at Coruscent. She missed being a senator.  
  
As much fun as it was to relive her childhood memories, she did not want to stay in her homeland when she could be debating in the Galactic Senate, hopefully preventing the war from lasting long and to see if she could make a new act to prevent an army for the republic. No, she told herself, I can't help this one with politics. Count Dooku is behind this, he is a sith. The sith are for the Jedi to deal with.  
  
Would this mean that Anakin would be assigned a mission to fight Dooku? In his condition? She couldn't bear the fact of loosing him. No politics could help. What would happen to the republic? She feared thinking of this. She physically and mentally waved away this fearful chain of thoughts.  
  
" M'Lady?" Someone softly tapped at the door, at least it seemed soft because of it being metal. " M'Lady, are you awake?" Dormé's voice sounded hollow. Padmé had to force herself to utter a response.  
  
" Yes." She replied in an almost-whisper.  
  
Her handmaiden always checked on her and dressed her and was always with the young senator. Dormé was older than she by a year. Padmé gave Dormé the remainder of the day off when she and Anakin had wed. She wondered what Dormé did on her day off, she was resentful when Padmé told her to take the day off, but eventually accepted it.  
  
The door slid open and revealed a cheery-faced handmaiden. Perhaps the day off did her some good, she needed the rest. Padmé resolved. Dormé strode in and headed for the clothes chamber as she nodded good morning to her lady.  
  
" What shall you wear today, M'Lady?"  
  
She didn't feel like talking in her distracted mood. She wanted to be alone for now, To sort things out.  
  
" Thank you, Dormé. But I will fend for myself today." She told Dormé, emphasizing the exhaustion in her voice.  
  
" Well your hair, at least." Dormé insisted in a motherly voice. Padmé laughed when she put her hands on her hips. Dear, sweet Dormé.  
  
" Oh, alright." Padmé slowly sat up in bed, causing her hair to tumble down her back and settle in place. She gracefully stood up and walked to her clothes chamber. She scanned the area as the door slid open. Her eyes were caught by her " Fire Dress". She called it that because of its colors: orange, red, and yellow. She would wear that today, she decided.  
  
After she had changed, Dormé began styling her hair in another one of her exotic and regal styles. Padmé sat still as Dormé twisted, pulled, and combed her long chestnut hair. Dormé meekly chuckled in spite of herself.  
  
" What is it?" Padmé asked, curious of what could be so funny.  
  
" It's so hard to style your hair without Cordé. She is much better than I am." Then she abruptly stopped when she remembered Cordé's death.  
  
" I miss her." Padmé whispered solemnly when Dormé stopped laughing.  
  
" So do I, M'Lady, very much." Dormé said in a soothing tone, so as to comfort the senator. After a minute more, she finished the first step of her hair styling journey and brought up a subject she was very much curious about. " That Jedi is awfully sweet on you. He's very handsome. 'Tis a pity Jedi are forbidden to love." She spoke sincerely.  
  
Padmé gasped at her bringing up Anakin. Did she suspect? Her head jerked to the side, causing Dormé to fumble the comb and drop Padmé's hair. The young senator took a deep breath and contained herself once more. Dormé received the comb from the floor and studied Padmé's blank and senator-like expression.  
  
" M'Lady?" She began to ask.  
  
" I'm sorry. The... cool breeze outside surprised me." Padmé finished. She gave Dormé a friendly nudge with her eyebrows to remind her she still had to finish her hair. Dormé obeyed and proceeded.  
  
" Well, anyway, I saw the way he looked at you, M'Lady. Could you not tell?" Padmé internally whined, not wanting to continue this conversation, she wasn't a good liar. Oh, Ani. She pleaded.  
  
" I don't notice my surroundings much anymore. I'm much too distracted with my worries on the Galactic Senate." She answered professionally, and it was very true. " I do wish I could be there." Then she added mentally. To be in the senate, and to see Ani.  
  
She still didn't understand why she had to stay in Naboo, helpless. She put on a determined frown and decided she would get to Coruscant with or without approval.  
  
" Dormé, will you please get R2D2 for me, I have a hologram to send to Chancellor Palpatine."  
  
Dormé stared wide-eyed for a moment, then nodded and scurried out the door. Padmé sighed, wondering why she didn't do this before. She was a senator, and she couldn't be ordered around like a servant and told to stay on Naboo. 


	5. Anakin's Mission

Anakin Skywalker exhaled a loud sigh as he strolled out of the ship. Well, here I go. He told himself, preparing for the largest cover-up he'd ever have to do. He knew that as soon as he set eyes on Padmé again, everything would be all right.  
  
Then he closed his eyes and saw Padmé. He felt her warmth as he remembered it when she had held him to comfort him after his Mother had died. He felt her smooth and heavenly soft skin beneath his fingertips as he had on the balcony at the Naboo lake retreat. He inhaled her sweet scent. He heard her glorious laugh. He then realized he already missed her so very much. His memories of her were so vivid that he soon became lost in his thoughts. He had to use every ounce of self-discipline he had learned in Jedi training to draw himself out of his fantasy. Right before his eyes opened, he saw another dear figure grinning at him alongside Padmé. His Mother. His breath grew shallow and he had to blink away a tear. It really was his true fantasy, to be with the two women he most cared for.  
  
When he opened his eyes, he focused on a figure masculine and honorable. A Jedi knight and his master: Obi-wan Kenobi. He could see his straight face being tugged by a mixture of emotions, too many to decipher from his expression. Obi-wan waited patiently as his Padawan Learner marched towards him.  
  
" Hello, Master." Anakin greeted.  
  
" The senator returns your passionate feelings for her. The way you held onto each other a few days ago made it very obvious to me." Obi-wan stated, he waited for a reply from Anakin, there was none, so he continued. " And beforehand, you even told me, but I was blinded by our assignment, I suppose."  
  
Anakin seized the opportunity to avoid the "question".  
  
" She has a name, Master! She is Padme'. Not "the senator". And if you haven't noticed, she's a woman, too-" Anakin immediately clamped his mouth shut when he realized what he had said.  
  
Obi-wan's eyes bulged for a slight moment in surprise of his Padawan's outburst.  
  
" Apparently that's the only thing you can't forget about her." He sighed. "Anakin-" Obi-wan began to lecture but was cut off by a calmed Anakin.  
  
"You don't even know what it's like." He defended. His voice was very soft and thick, his voice fighting the temptation to shout. Shouting was not the dignified Jedi way.  
  
" You were trained knowing very well why the code forbids it." The Jedi Knight's voice was a harsh whisper. " It brings grave danger to a Jedi. Attachment is the path to the dark side."  
  
" It will never happen to me, I assure you that, Master." Anakin quickly replied through his teeth.  
  
" If only it were that easy." Obi-wan's voice grew somber with disappointment and helplessness to the situation. He held his palm over his forehead, rubbing his temple.  
  
To Anakin's joy and horror, the wise Mace Windu came through the automatic door onto the large launching pad. Obi-wan jerked his hand down and brought both his together and nodded at Mace. Anakin followed. Mace politely and respectfully waved Obi-wan off. Anakin's master winced.  
  
" I would like to speak to your Padawan alone, Obi-wan." Anakin's stomach churned nervously at his order, he quickly swallowed and slapped on his usual "Jedi expression".  
  
Obi-wan bowed and progressed to the door as Mace said " May the Force be with you." He then turned to Anakin.  
  
" It is an honor that you only wish to talk to me, Master Windu." Anakin spat before Mace began to speak. He nodded with a little reassuring smile. Anakin's eyebrows rose in surprise to this great Jedi Master's reaction. He had never seen him smile before.  
  
" I wanted to give you my sincerest apologies for your mother's death." Anakin felt as if a huge rock had been lifted from his lungs. Good, this isn't about Padme'. He quietly mouthed a "phew!" when Master Windu looked away at a passer-by ship.  
  
" Thank you." Came Anakin's sincere reply. He gulped down more tears that tingled at his senses.  
  
" Master Yoda sensed your pain. Terrible pain. It is hard when one looses their mother. I can see your thoughts dwell on her now." He shook his head solemnly. "Which brings us to our concern of this affecting your life as a Jedi. You must not let this tragedy take you over. Anger and revenge often destroy Jedi who give in to it. But you are stronger, Anakin. Master Yoda and I know you can overcome this."  
  
Anakin was touched by his faith in him. He was also very grateful that his mournful thoughts of his mother had drowned out his feelings for Padme' then. Master Windu would have for sure sensed his longing for Padme' easily if that were the only thing he had felt. Mace and Yoda had read him like a book very easily a decade before.  
  
" I am grateful for your concern. I will be strong, Master Windu." That seemed to convince him, for he bid him farewell in the Jedi manner and he left.  
  
Now the next obstacle: to convince Obi-wan not to say anything.  
  
"No! I will not lie to the Jedi council, we will be caught." Obi- wan's overwhelmed and angry reply to Anakin's request almost made him loose control of the ship. The pair was assigned to go to Geonosis and see to the separtist- if they were still there. Anakin doubted they would be there and they would hopefully return to Coruscant, Senator Amidala was rumored to return to her apartment in a few days. He promised her they would see each other soon and that "soon" was running down. He would disappoint himself as much as he would disappoint Padme' if he missed her.  
  
" Master, you have already not told them so they'll accuse you of putting it off. Besides, I told you that when we get back to Coruscant, I will tell her that we can't see each other anymore." Anakin reasoned. He tried to put in a convincing whimper after "anymore". Trying to imagine that really happening.  
  
Obi-wan grunted as he sharply turned to avoid an asteroid. He hated flying but yet he was an excellent pilot, which always puzzled Anakin. He just guessed something happened when he was younger that scarred his flying experiences, but being a pilot is essential to a Jedi on a secret mission.  
  
" You still can't just eliminate your feelings like data from a droid." Obi-wan reasoned, now calm.  
  
Anakin's hopes rose. He could tell Obi-wan was beginning to consider this, after hours of his sour responses to Anakin's plead.  
  
" I will try my best then. It was nothing. We're friends." Anakin couldn't have ever been more wrong.  
  
" A while ago, you confirmed to me you loved her." Obi-wan kept alert to the oblivion called space.  
  
Anakin sucked in air through his teeth, mentally hitting himself for saying that. He squeezed his mechanical hand in a "tight" fist. He had daily exercises that he did to get him used to his machine hand. He moved them avidly. Hopefully, they may be an advantage to him one day, in combat. Machines crushed things much easier than human hands. The worse part was that his grip on his light sabor was easily lost, considering he had no nerves there. With a bit more practice, Obi-wan had assured him, he would be able to hold his weapon as easily as before.  
  
" In a sisterly way." Anakin's unsteady voice explained. He gritted his teeth and wished he had written all this down. " She could never love me another way, I'm still that little boy she met on Tatooine, remember?" He said gruffly, then congratulated himself for his recovery.  
  
" Well, that's still attachment, nonetheless." Obi-wan then exhaled a sound that sounded like he was thinking this through. " If you tell her you can never see her again, then I won't tell the congress." He then sighed, more in defeat than accomplishment. He then muttered something, in a doubting tone.  
  
Anakin smiled at his clear agreement. See, Padmé? It's going to be all right. He praised to his wife in his thoughts. Then he turned from the controls he was staring at when things were hitting the fan. He saw Obi- wan's expression was truly hurt.  
  
" Oh, Master. Please, just trust me. This once." The apprentice pleaded his Master. They frustrated each other sometimes, but they shared great adventures and they taught each other many things. When he really thought about it, Anakin admired his master.  
  
Obi-wan took on Anakin as his Padawan learner at the young age of twenty-five. With that, he had to throw away his youth to be the wise and strict Jedi Master that Anakin very much needed. Anakin appreciated that as much as he could.  
  
" There it is: Geonosis." Obi-wan stated, not really thinking about it. Then he turned to Anakin and smiled. " The Jedi Council has advised me many times to do so. I suppose I should follow their orders." Anakin bowed his head.  
  
" Thank you, Master." And with that they turned their focus back on their mission and the war to come. 


	6. The Newlywed's Reunion

Padmé Naberrie-Skywalker's eyes bored through the mirror before her. The mirror wasn't being used to reflect her looks; it was being used to reflect on the past two days that seemed more like two years and yet but two seconds. Just yesterday morning she had drifted awake from a lazy slumber, looking out the windows to the beautiful landscape of the Naboo lake country. Now she was preparing herself for bed at her high apartment in the senatorial building on Coruscant.  
  
She slowly and robotically combed her wet hair. Her lips were parted unconsciously. Her eyelids drooped out of exhaustion this day had brought forth to her. The day had much activity, but her thoughts secretly stayed on Anakin. She was constantly worrying, hoping nothing would happen to Anakin in his dangerous career of a Jedi. Even though the farther along the day went, the more control she could gain over herself, it still hung onto her, refusing to let her be. She didn't know what she would do with herself if he.  
  
Never mind that! She forcefully commanded herself. She refused to let all her happiness rely on his actions. Her deep thoughts soon drifted elsewhere.  
  
She remembered her frustration when the Gungan representative of Naboo, the clumsy Jar Jar Binks, had informed her of what he had done in her absence. He had moved for a vote of full power of the Galactic Senate to the Supreme Chancellor (who had carried out orders not to be bothered for days). Padmé remembered the pure outrage that had blurred her vision, and the sadness and fearfulness of disappointing the Naboo she had felt.  
  
She vividly remembered pacing about the room, muttering how this wasn't a democracy any longer and dreaded what would become of the republic. Also, what would she tell the queen? All of the Naboo were counting on her. She did not want to let them down and let her peaceful home planet go to destruction.  
  
Representative Binks had tried to calm her by meekly mentioning that full power to the chancellor was only temporary, until he gave up and bid her farewell.  
  
She realized she was clenching her teeth furiously. The young senator decided that now was not the time to show her passionate disagreement with the senate's current decision and she should store it for the Senate meeting scheduled tomorrow.  
  
Padmé reflected on how easily Palpatine had obeyed her demands to return to Coruscant. He seemed unusually pleased. He had said that after all the events of the past week he had assumed she would need a rest. The senator suspected something strange about him, she had trusted him heavily during the Naboo Blockade and through her remaining two terms as queen. But there was something different...something celebrated in his concerned tone.. something elusive, that she had not seen before.  
  
She felt as if she were about to burst! Despair, worry, anger, and disappointment clouded her usually reasonable thinking. Her breath grew heavy, and she found herself blinking away a tear that had needed to let drop for years, and still did. She had to gain control of herself, she was a senator; senators do not just break down and cry. She searched deep down inside for much-needed strength. With what little self-control and strength she had, she once again prevented a breakdown.  
  
At sun down, Padmé hesitantly went to her bed for much-needed sleep. Anakin Skywalker lurked through the halls of the senatorial building, right behind and in step with his master. They soon arrived to a turbolift and entered its floor of destination. He kept stealing glances at Obi-wan, wondering what he might be thinking. Obi-wan soon started looking back.  
  
He reflected on how quickly the mission had been. They had flown over Geonosis searching for any sign of life. But, surprisingly, the locals were not even there. The entire planet seemed abandoned. They eventually landed and scrounged throught every building that Obi-wan had seen Dooku in. They searched the entire day and night, then the next day, and by midnight that day, they deactivated their lightsabors and left for the ship to report to the Jedi Council.  
  
During the turbo lift's climb up to the floor inhabited by Senator Amidala, not a word was spoken between the two. He could tell Obi-wan was nervous. Anakin was excited, but he did not show it.  
  
The turbolift stopped and the Jedi walked out.  
  
They identified themselves into the speaker by the door and the handmaiden had the door opened.  
  
Anakin was immediately greeted by a very surprised Dormé. Obi-wan took a step back, knowing he shouldn't interfere because this was for Anakin to do, and Anakin alone. Anakin turned and they exchanged encouraging nods.  
  
" You are here to see Senator Amidala?" Dormé asked innocently.  
  
Anakin turned back." Yes, is she here?" Anakin leaned over to catch a glimpse at her bedroom door to see any sign of her.  
  
" Yes, but she's a bit distressed at the moment." She said uneasily." Maybe you should-"  
  
" Dormé, Who is it?" A noble voice called, interrupting Dormé. Padmé Amidala walked into the room, in a full-skirts, dark, and senator- like dress. She had a little ornament decorating the top of her forehead, a little dark gem on a chain of similar and smaller gems. Her eyes were lined by dark make up. She looked elegant and professional, but also solemn.  
  
Anakin gaped at her beauty, like he always did when she entered a room, no matter what she was wearing. But then his hopes fell when he saw the frown she had on her face when she first entered, but it was soon transformed into a surprised, relieved, and happy expression, but still in the gloomy shadows of the previous frown.  
  
"Anakin." Was all she said, silently. She then turned to Dormé, who in return looked at Anakin. She then saw Obi-wan and almost gasped, but stopped herself.  
  
" May I talk to her alone, Dormé?" He requested steadily, asking her permission as if she were royalty, he knew that she was a dear friend to Padmé.  
  
" Oh, yes, of course." She nodded to him, then turned and gave Padmé a small curtsie as she announced. " I will be in the Senatorial Hall, M'Lady."  
  
Padmé nodded numbly, then turned back to the Jedi visitors.  
  
Anakin turned to Obi-wan and fervently raised his eyebrows and cocked his head to the side a bit, shooing him.  
  
"Oh!" He mouthed sheepishly. " Come back to the Jedi Temple when you are done, Anakin. " He then bowed and the door slid shut.  
  
Padmé stared at the back of the Jedi Apprentice's head, who was still gazing at the door, concentrating on something. He finally let out a small sigh and remarked, " Master, I can sense your presence at the door."  
  
After that came a muffled, " Uh, just testing you, my young apprentice." Then, Anakin knew, he was gone.  
  
Anakin turned to the senator, smiling ear-to-ear, hoping she would return it. She didn't. He felt her very tense. His grin vanished. It was replaced by a confused frown.  
  
" Padmé?" Was all he said, questioning her.  
  
" This isn't a good time, Anakin." Her voice was quiet and thick. She stared him straight in the eye, waiting for him to leave. He didn't budge.  
  
" Padmé. Please, tell me." He begged tenderly. He then went to sit down on the nearest sofa. As he made his way to the sofa, his eyes never left Padmé's face. Padmé turned away after a long moment of staring. Anakin patiently waited for his beloved Padmé to speak. 


	7. Padmé's Devotion

A/N: Thank you for the review, Maria! This is the last chapter. I want to know if you think all the chapters fit together. I started out writing until chapter five or "Anakin's Mission." with the idea of this story being about their love being a secret. But after a while I got a different idea, and changed the title. It used to be called "Secrets." I hope the change was all for the best.  
  
"Do you realize we are lying to our friends and family? The ones who love us the most and only want the best for us." Padmé whispered, while still facing away from Anakin. She dared not let herself turn and look into his eyes.  
  
" You are the only family I have left, Padmé." Anakin stated. He slid on the couch closer towards the back of the senator. She heard him move and hesitated.  
  
" Master Obi-wan is like family to you." She said, ignoring his comment.  
  
" Padmé, I know that's not all that's bothering you. I sense it. What is it, really?" His voice was warm and welcoming. At last, Padmé turned to him. Her heart beat, throbbing in her chest, when she saw his face deeply worried. She said the first thought that lurched up her throat.  
  
" I don't know. I-" She stood there, with Anakin hanging by her every word. " Everything, Anakin. Everything." She told him as if he were a little boy, and she, his mother.  
  
" Why do you put everything in the wrong perspective, Padmé?" He got up off the sofa as if it were on fire. He was becoming impatient with her pessimism.  
  
" Why do you lie to yourself and think everything will turn out alright? Anakin," She spoke his name as if he had died, and afraid to say it too loud. " ,something could happen to you one day, when you are blinded by your own optimism and arrogance." He heard her voice choke. " That's how you lost your arm. Did you learn nothing from it?" Her pitch rose in her voice, as if she were begging him, not lecturing.  
  
Anakin looked down upon her in sympathy, which never had done before. He could tell that he was worrying her. It struck him with guilt. How could he hurt her so much without even being aware of it. He looked down at his right sleeve. The gold covering of his mechanical hand peeked out, he wiggled his "fingers". He mentally admitted he had been too sure of himself that day he had faced Dooku, but he still sensed more troubles beyond this.  
  
She gulped, and her stern voice returned.  
  
" The senate is falling apart. It's all because I wasn't here to keep the Military Creation Act dead, and Chancellor Palpatine is now ruling our senate because I wasn't here. I missed everything that is important to me." Her voice couldn't have been any harsher, even if she was yelling. She kept her strong-held voice from shattering. " The Naboo depended on me to make peace, and I have failed them."  
  
Anakin looked up. The almost-Jedi stood very still, his dark robes seemed a boundary around him, he wanted to speak but couldn't utter a sound. He couldn't believe how much this senator had to go through. He wanted to hold her and tell her everything would be all right, but couldn't allow himself to, not quite yet. Anakin's face pursued a defeated frown.  
  
" It's not all your fault, Padmé." He assured her weakly. She dismissed his gesture quickly with a soft nod. He began to reach out his hand to her, but froze, and slowly retreated it.  
  
" We can't keep this hidden marriage, Anakin. It's tearing me apart." He immediately knew she didn't want this.  
  
" No, You are blaming all of your problems on us. I know it's not so, Padmé. These are rough times in the republic. The only thing we can depend on is each other." He dared to take a few steps toward her.  
  
She stood her ground." I've been doing this since I was 12." She reminded him. "I think I know the difference. You're just a Jedi." She regretted it as soon as it came out.  
  
The Jedi Padawan stopped in his tracks. His face was overshadowed by hurt.  
  
" Very well, M'Lady." Came his defeated reply.  
  
The way he addressed her made it clear. She felt about to erupt. Padmé Naberrie-Skywalker then blinked out the tear that had stayed with her ever since that fearful day she had started as a senator. One simple tear that held more despair and struggle than most twenty-four year- olds would have experienced. The tear lingered and slowly rolled down her right cheek. Her eyes glazed, threatening to bring more.  
  
Anakin immediately came to her side. The warmth of his body next to hers broke the ice she had formed over the years. He embraced her and she formed fists to rest on his chest. Her breath shivered on his cloak and she kept her eyes tightly shut.  
  
Anakin held her close. He set his chin lightly on the very top of her head. He could have stayed there forever, just breathing in the sweet smell of her hair. He gently kissed her head and rocked her. He savored this moment, for he knew it would probably never happen again, not like this.  
  
She did not shed another tear; one was all she needed. She was very comfortable in his protective grasp. For once, she needed him to hold her, and it was almost as good of a feeling as any, at this time. She already knew she loved him, but now she knew she needed him. And he needed her.  
  
Padmé slowly pulled her head off his chest and craned her neck up to him and smiled ever so slightly, assuring him she was healing. He eagerly smiled back, in a small no-teeth smile like hers.  
  
For the moment, the galaxy seemed at peace.  
  
THE END  
  
A/N: Since no one knows how they end up untill episode 3, this is how it'll have to end. Hope you enjoyed. :) 


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